I offered to give him speech lessons. He didn't respond.
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A hot dog is God's Toe.
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Best pickup line ever:
"I accidentally ordered an extra entree, can you come and eat if for me?"
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Statistically, I will live forever. I have been living for over 5,000 days. During each of those days, I have lived the whole time. Probability says I am immortal.
(Probability also said Michigan would beat Appalachian State)
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You know we're doomed if we idol a guy named "Young Jeezy." Funniest name ever.
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"You know what they say about assuming?"
"What?"
"Sometimes you're right... sometimes you're wrong"
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Dumb: "Quit being such a smart ass!"
Smart: "I'd rather be a smart ass than a dumb ass."
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-"Well, the short answer is no. But the long answer would be yes, it has one more letter."
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-After drinking all that diet soda, I felt Splendid
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-Drive up ATM's have braille for a good reason: Limit production cost (drive-up same as walk-up, so only one factory setting is needed) Plus, where else is the blind taxi driver going to get his money late at night?
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Only in America:
-Can you walk the streets without getting shot
-Will the police respond to your call without corrupt agendas
-Will you be allowed to elect your leaders
-You don't have to put barbed wire around your yard
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