Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mothers Day

A shout out to mothers throughout the world.

It is Mother's Day
Thank you Mom, for giving birth
To me, your son Mike

People celebrate Mother's Day in many ways.  Some people buy gifts, such as Pink Flamingos.  Others spend time cleaning their mother's yard.

I spent my mothers day doing various things.

Today I had my first run in with Gutter Toppers (TM).  Gutter Toppers, for those of you lucky few who don't know, are metal screens that are supposed to keep your gutters clean from debris.  They think that by screening out all the leaves and such, you won't have to clean the gutters and they won't get clogged.

These screens, however, have one crucial weakness.  Helicopter seeds, the ones you throw up in the air and they spin like helicopters, are to gutter toppers what water is to a selectively permeable membrane.

You would expect the gutter toppers to keep out the seeds, but look what happens below....

The helicopters from hell

So back to my plight.  My job was to pick out these seeds, which had become lodged in between the metal pores, and throw them to the ground.  The only problem was that these seeds would not come out easily.  They were stuck in the grate and had to picked out by hand, or sucked up by vacuum.

I got out some garden gloves, a study ladder, and my leftover dignity.  A few hours later the gutters were clean, and the metal gutter toppers shone proudly before the shingles.

My task was done, and Mother's Day was a success. 



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I offered to give him speech lessons. He didn't respond.
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A hot dog is God's Toe.
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Best pickup line ever:

"I accidentally ordered an extra entree, can you come and eat if for me?"
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Statistically, I will live forever. I have been living for over 5,000 days. During each of those days, I have lived the whole time. Probability says I am immortal.

(Probability also said Michigan would beat Appalachian State)
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You know we're doomed if we idol a guy named "Young Jeezy." Funniest name ever.
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"You know what they say about assuming?"
"What?"
"Sometimes you're right... sometimes you're wrong"
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Dumb: "Quit being such a smart ass!"

Smart: "I'd rather be a smart ass than a dumb ass."

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-"Well, the short answer is no. But the long answer would be yes, it has one more letter."
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-After drinking all that diet soda, I felt Splendid
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-Drive up ATM's have braille for a good reason: Limit production cost (drive-up same as walk-up, so only one factory setting is needed) Plus, where else is the blind taxi driver going to get his money late at night?
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Only in America:

-Can you walk the streets without getting shot
-Will the police respond to your call without corrupt agendas
-Will you be allowed to elect your leaders
-You don't have to put barbed wire around your yard
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The background for my header (the picture with the Acai tree) is from http://www.thewallpapers.org/photo/22996/2-Single_Acacia_Tree_at_Sunrise_Masai_Mara_Kenya.jpg