Top 10 Ways To Be Really Annoying on Facebook

So I started up my old computer today to check my Facebook page.  I got on the website and checked the notifications and looked at the home page a little bit.

So, without further ado, the top 10 ways to annoy someone (or a whole bunch of someones) on Facebook.

The App Man- Sign up for a bunch of free horoscopes and other cool things like "Lover of the Day," or "Valentine of the Day."  These apps will spam the news feeds of all your friends with useless and annoying wall posts.  This affects all of your friends and makes your own profile very disgusting looking.  I would recommend this tactic if you simply want to be one of the most hated Facebook users.

The Constant Status Updater- Another easy way to annoy people is to use the "TMI" effect- too much information about your life.  Simply have a new status every 3 minutes.  The statuses can be about anything, from your own personal experiences and beliefs, or they can simply be random statements.  Ensure to tag a whole bunch of people in these statuses so some of your friends get notifications (notifications = annoyance).  Keep in mind that you will have to post around 20 statuses in an hour, which is a little less than 500 statuses in a day (assuming you update your friends around the clock).  Coming up with 500 different statuses every day can be challenging.  Here are a few sample statuses that you can use if you run out of ideas.

• "Hey"
• "I just had orange juice"
• "I just had grape juice"
• "Whats up friends?"
• "Whats up enemies?"
• "The time is now 12:28"
• "The time is now 12:29"
• "The political agenda of the far left is ultimately going to be a causation of massive government and a shift towards a socialistic regime"
• "My mother likes pizza"
• "I am going outside for a minute to check the temperature"
• "Okay I just got back inside, its pretty warm out there"
• "I'm going to go check the real temperature on the thermometer, hold on"
• "Wait, I can't find a thermometer"
• "Does anyone know where a thermometer is?"
• "No, you probably don't, because you have never been in my house"
• "Wait, @John Smith, haven't you been in my house before?"
• "@Kayln Golden, Hi!"
• "Nvm, I found a thermometer"
• "Shoot, its out of batteries"
• "I'm going to the store, I'll brb"
• From Facebook mobile: "Okay I'm at a red light right now"
• From Facebook mobile: "I just parked the car in row F.  Haha"
• From Facebook mobile: "Right now I'm walking into the store. Lol"
• From Facebook mobile: "I like shoes"
• "Hey, I found a computer at the store.  I'm using it to update my status"
• From Facebook mobile: "I bought some batteries"
• From Facebook mobile: "I'm at the same red light I was earlier! Lol!"
• "I'm home again"
• "I'm going to put the batteries in the thermometer so I can check the actual temperature"
• "The time is 12:56"
• "Oh darn, I got the wrong size batteries"
• "I'm going back to the store"

The Wall to Wall Chatter- For lots of annoyance in your friends home screens, start up a meaningless wall to wall conversation with a friend or two.  This effectively replaces Facebook chat.  Whatever you would say in Facebook Chat, write on someones wall instead.  Continue the conversations out for 100's of wall posts.  Your friends' news feeds will be filled with meaningless banter between people they probably don't care much about.  Here's a quick conversation sample.

Sam > James: "Hi James!"

James > Same: "Yo Sam. What's up?"

Sam > James: "NMU"

James > Sam: "NMU?"

Sam > James: "I already asked you"

James > Sam: "Oh haha"

Sam > James: "Right, I said NM"

James > Sam: "Lol"

Sam > James: "Haha yeah"

The above conversation can be replaced with FDA (Facebook Displays of Affection), to even further piss people off.

The Incessant Tagger- One of the more eye-rolling ways to make people shake their heads is to start random tagging.  Go to one of your friends (when I say "friends," I mean "Facebook Friends."  It is unlikely that any of your Facebook friends will even talk to you after you do these things.) and go to the pictures.  Find a picture and start tagging friends.  Even if they aren't in the picture, tag them.  Tag about 100 or 200 random friends per picture, then move on to the next one.  This will give the owner of the picture 100 or 200 notifications per picture, and will also give 100 or 200 people a random notification that will cause them to scratch their head.

The Over-Requester- Something that really annoys people is lots of requests.  Ranging anywhere from friend requests to fan pages of an unknown band to group membership to free ducks if you join Farmville.  To be really annoying, simply request that all of your friends join everything possible on Facebook.  Go to a fan page "like page" and click on "Suggest to Friends" and invite all your friends.  Make sure to include a variety of requests.  Include all the apps you can find, all the fan pages you can find, and all the groups you can join.

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Whew.  That is a lot of annoying things to do.  I am now warning you that if you do these things, people probably won't like you as much, and may even...gasp!...unfriend you on Facebook!

So if you want to keep your friends, both real and virtual, avoid doing these things.  But why would anyone want to keep their friends? Go for it.

And yeah I know, there's only 5 ways up there.  I don't feel like thinking of 10 whole ways of annoying people, five was plenty.  I just said there were 10 because "Top 10" lists are much more credible than "Top 5" lists.  Sorry.