In the future some people want to be doctors. Some people want to be astronauts. Some people want to be firefighters. Some people want to be teachers. Some people want to be engineers. Some people want to work at fast food restaurants. Some people want to be sports psychologists. Some people want to be nuclear physicists. Some people want to be veterinarians. Some people want to be trophy wifes. Some people simply want to be house wifes (some desperate, others not so much). Some people want to be athletes. Some people want to start their own businesses. Some people want to be rock stars. Some people want to be homeless.
Now I could tell you about my future plans, my dreams, goals, and hopes, and wishes, and desires, and wants.
And I will tell you. I fit into the last category. I want to be homeless.
What more can you want?
Imagine going to California with nothing but the clothes on your back, and maybe a guitar for looks. Just you. A lone human traveling across miles of land to reach the sea. It would be just like Lewis and Clark. A great expedition to your dreamland. But you wouldn't have to report to any presidents, so life would be good.
Or better yet, just buy an airplane ticket with your college savings and make the trip a little easier. Or jump on a train.
Yeah you can picture a life with a decent house, decent job, and hopefully a better than decent wife, but thats about it. Or you can picture a life full of fun and adventure, living on the edge, relaxing for a living.
Being homeless in California and living on the beach would be great. You could chill out all day (playing your guitar) and maybe just walk around doing stuff. And because its always warm in California, you wouldn't have to worry about being cold.
Some of my adversaries might say, "You're crazy! No way can someone do that! How would you pay the bills?! Who's gonna support you? Your mom?"
To them I say: "I'm not crazy (at least the judge didn't believe me*) Look at the picture above! Its possible! Bills?! What bills?! They better not be charging me to drink ocean water! I will support my self! And don't talk about my mom!"
I mean really. No bills, no taxes, no money, no stuff. Just chilling out for a living and doing nothing.
Some of my other adversaries might say, "How will you survive?"
This is a very serious question. To which I have a very serious answer.
I will scavenge for food in dumpsters and maybe catch fish with my bare hands. And eat crackers from salad bars. And I will collect spare change and make money from playing guitar, so I could buy vitamins so I don't get deficient. And I will go into Wal-mart and drink from their drinking fountains. On the weekends I will sneak into Sam's Club (just say your parents are already inside) and eat free samples.
Sleep on the beach. Do whatever you want during the day. That'd be the life.
Some more adversaries (I sure have a lot!) might say, "What happens if you get sick? Who's gonna pay the medical bills?"
Well first of all, I would go to the free clinics to get treatment. And if I do get a bill, where are they going to send it? I don't have a home, and if they find me on the beach I'll just move to another beach. I hear they got rid of debtors prison so I will be free no matter what.
You think my way of life has flaws? You're wrong.
And anyway, 2012 is getting closer so I won't have to live like that for long. And its better to have nothing to lose when the world ends. You feel a little less depressed.
*Bad legal joke trying to make fun of pleading insanity. (And I understand you can't drink ocean water)
Homeless man picture from World of Stock
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