Teenager's and Their Jobs

It seems to me that most teens have a little competition going on: who has the easiest job.  Whenever I talk to people about their jobs, they usually complain about bosses and nasty chores.  When I say, "Hey you should quit and come work at ____JOB____," they have a change of mind.  They say something like "Oh, my job is so easy, I don't do anything.  I just mess around and get paid."  I highly doubt that.  If someone is paying you to do work, they probably want you to be productive and help out the company (unless your dad is a super rich guy who just gives you a job for fun).

But no, all those kids that work at Hy-Vee, they just mess around all day.  They have food fights and enjoy the art of not working.  Suuurrrrreee

I also know a few people whose parents will not let them get a job.  They usually complain, saying "Poo! I want a job!" I almost wish I were one of those people.  Imagine, you workers, being able to go all week without stepping inside that dreaded restaurant/grocery store.  Imagine having free time.  And then imagine the bank account: empty.  If your parents won't let you get a job, they are probably paying for all (or most) of the stuff you buy.  Your parents probably pay for gas and give you something along the lines of $80 a month.

Or maybe your parents are mean, and don't give you anything, and still won't let you work.  That would kinda suck.  What would really suck, however, would be if your parents made your work, and then took the money you made.  This girl I used to work with at Sonic had a situation like this.  Everyday she would ride her bike to Sonic, work, eat at Sonic, then bike home.  Everyday.  (Right now she is a senior).  Why did she work so much and not have a car? You should be able to get a decent car for 300 bucks, right?  Well, that is right, but this girl didn't have 300 bucks.

All the money she made working at Sonic went to paying the rent.  Her mom made her pay 1/2 the rent every month.  Imagine that, your family making you pay part of the mortgage.  This girl HAD to work at Sonic and donate her paycheck to the rent, or she would have been kicked out.

That is sad. A teen, especially a senior, should be enjoying their life. A teen should not be working to support a family. And it's not like she was pregnant or anything, her mom just makes her pay.

I am just grateful I don't have to work my butt off to pay the rent...

Fall Into...

I would agree that the title of a blog post has a big impact on the number of people who read the post.  Some titles are exciting, while others are boring.  Some titles are witty, and others yet, are unoriginal.  Some titles are all caps, while other remain in a dismal lowercase. Some titles do not even exist (these are the best, because you don't know what the post is about, and must read the entire thing). 

Some titles are long, some are short.  Some have meaning, some retort.  Some rhyme, some chyme, but all spend time (on the internet).  Some make you think of life, others fill your head with strife.  Some titles have simple structure, and yet some contain the complexity one would expect from a chemical formula.  Some titles come from stormula, and others still corn you la.  Some are poetic, some contain togetic (which is a pokemon).  Some remind you of girls, of whirls, of twirls.  Some titles remind you of lying, crying, and dying (in that order). Some titles are funny, like a bunny.  Some titles can't find their soul, as if...as if there is a large hole, that God has stole...from the heart.  Decipher this chart, and in it will be a boy.  Boy as in toy, bringing joy.  Some titles make you remember the Batttle of Troy, while others make you forget the Gazette. Some titles make no sense, some titles meant for a post to go one way, and then the author wakes up from his/her writing trance 10 minutes later, realizing he/she has written a terrible poem about titles, and has not, in fact, written about Falling into a deep meditation.  

This brings up another point.  Generally I have a blog idea, and come up with a good title, and then start blogging about something completely different.  I get distracted while writing sometimes. Sometimes my writing gets distracted by me.  Sometimes I realize writing is just words, which is just letters, which is just lines, which mean the world. 

The world is made of lines.  Without lines, nothing would exist, nothing but circles.  Circles have no point.  Because the world is made of lines, there is a point to the world.  The world has a meaning.  How many other planets are out there? Why are there so many stars? Why have we not been contacted by aliens? Maybe we have been contacted by aliens, but our government is hiding it.  What is our government hiding?  Is it underneath the Hoover Dam? Is Megan Fox hot? Did anyone catch that transformer's reference? Does anyone pay attention in school? Yes, they do.  There is always that Hermione Granger in ever class.  With curly hair, straight A's, in love with Ron... Its only a matter of time, before we all burn.  Its only a matter of time before I run out of free listening hours on Pandora. I laughed and danced, through the my bedroom.  Everything will be alright. I already ran out of listening hours on Pandora. I thought I could just create another account and start over with 40 new hours, but no.  Apparently it is limited to 40 hours per computer... That means I spent over 40 hours with my computer on during the past month.  That is approx 1.2 hours per day.  That is approx the amount of time I spend on homework in one day.  Wrong.  I spend less than that.  Wrong again, I spend more than that.  Wrong again, it depends on a variety of things.  Wrong again, it only depends on one thing.  Wrong again, nothing depends on only one thing.  Everything is connected.  I dare you to give me two things, any two things, and I will relate them.  Even if it is just by a common letter, or by a common thought. Because I ran out of listening hours on Pandora, I had to switch to Last.fm.  

I read something today, something interesting.  "If everyone would just be happy, we would have no sad people."  So everyone, just be happy.  Don't worry about anything, just be happy.  The only problem with that is, we can't control our happiness as much as we would like.  Here I am, a hypocrite.  Didn't I just say that we can change our outlook on things to make us happier?  I thought I said that one time.  That you should just be happy, it was the number two way to improve your life. I also think this post is a continuation of a previous post, a certain post with a chart/graph on it.  That certain post with a chart/graph on it said that over time, the quality of blogs would diminish.  I don't know about you, but it seems as if the quality of this blog has diminished.  That is too sad, because I really enjoy making quality blogs.  Well then, I should make quality blogs, it shouldn't be too hard, write?  I mean I have topics, I just feel as if I need to back up my previous generalization.  I should stop that.  Actually I am riting poorli because of the deeper meaning of this blog.  Most people will probably put this blog off as a stupid kid just typing up whatever pops into his mind.  Wow. Last.fm kinda sucks.  Yea it is disappointing.  I miss Pandora...baby come back.  The song "ho" by Ludacris is mentally handicapped. Sorry, that was offensive.  "Ho" is not mentally handicapped. It is ridiculous.  Not suprising, Ludacris being ridiculous.  "Yous a ho" "I said that yous a ho".  It keeps playing that lyric over and over again.  And there is strange women talking in the background. 

Anyway, back to the deeper meaning of this post.  If you were to break this apart thought by thought, you would have a complete understanding of a teenage thought process during a blogging session.  Isn't that interesting?  Teens are random, they cannot stay focused.  Teens like fun, sitting on a block, disobeying the law.  Wow last.fm really sucks.  BTW I am not talking about Akon's song sucking, I think Soul Survivor is a good song.  Or should I say sizong. Finally a good song on Last.fm! Love lock down.  I think the vibe is wrong, this is haunting me, all the way through my blog.  I can never know, until its over.  NO NO NO NO NO.  This hasn't gone the way I wanted to.  I'll keep it low.  Everyone else don't have to read this.  Sounds like LA LA DOWN.  I'm not writing this, way I wanted to. I can't keep on track, so I keep it smooth. I can't keep myself, and still keep my blog.  How many times did I revise this blog before it finally went through? 3? 5? 6? You lose...  I'm just wasting time...when will this get over?  You lose...

I bet no one knew, that this blog would have shown up.  Keep the loving on. Only God knows, does this blog have true meaning?  Is there seriously a hidden meaning behind this post? I haven't been down this road too many times before, so I will keep this locked down.  Don't expect this kind of thing ever again. It is a one time deal. And it is actually over 1,200 words.  If anyone has read this far, I am sorry if you got nothing out of this.  My old teacher said that a good skill to have is to be able to learn something from anything.  Everything you see, watch, read, experience, etc, learn from it. I honestly did not do this for word count, I will probably have 3 other posts that are just as long. Lets see how this looks.  

HALLLOOWWWEEEEEENNNNNNNNN

Confessions of A Swineist, Part 2

ATTENTION: THE FOLLOWING CONCERNS A NATIONAL EMERGENCY
READ IT ALL

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Here I am, on a saturday night, sitting in our office, typing on a computer.  What a lame saturday night.  You think I should be out partying?  Maybe catching a movie with a cutie?  At least hanging out with some friends...But no. I am home, on the computer.  The effects swine flu can have on one's social life...

I decided to create a sequel to my earlier Confessions of A Swineist, partially because of a certain article I have read.

THIS ARTICLE IS ARTICULATE

I have been getting better from the swine flu, almost fully recovered (ignore the fact that I am on 20 different medications and nearly passed out an hour ago...).  After going through this certain flu, I realized that it wasn't that bad.  I was getting better, was eating again, and could actually sit through an entire Hulu-ed episode of the office.  Then I received an email from NY Times Breaking News.  They send me an email because of my VIP status; every time something big happens, they let me know.

Anyway, the title of this email was "NEWS ALERT: Obama Declares H1N1 Flu a National Emerge."  Now I wasn't quite sure what this was about (yahoo cut off the ending), so I decided to read the email.  Apparently Mr. Obama thought he could go and declare a national emergency on me, right as I was getting better.  Are you saying that I was part of a national emergency?!?! OMG NO WAY! You know what else should be a national emergency? Car Crashes.  Rabies.  Sex offenders.  Maybe even cancer.

Wow, really?  Really Mr. Obama? Or should I call you Barrack?  Decide to go all emergency on me?  Well guess what, I had swine flu, and I didn't even go to the doctor!  You hear that? I. Didn't. Go. To. The. Doctor. And. I. Feel. Fine.

If you are going dial 911 on the national level, I think the problem should warrant a doctor's visit.  If you are in a car crash you go to the doctor, same with rabies.  If you have a bad run-in with a sex offender, you also probably go to the doctor.  If you have cancer, however, there is no need to see the doctor, just ride it out.

[ That was a joke. If you have cancer, do not take that advice.  If you have cancer, I am sorry, and you should probably go see a doctor if you haven't already. Chances are I will have cancer someday, and I am just mentally preparing myself for it by making jokes.[That was another joke, because I don't actually know my chance of getting cancer.[ Enough about cancer, it's not a national emergency]]]

Back to the article.  NY Times says that this "National Emergency" declaration will allow "officials to bypass
certain federal requirements."

Wow, really? Bypass certain federal requirements?  Wow...I had my hopes up about this national emergency thing.  Apparently when Obama dialed 911, he was worried that federal requirements would be a problem.  If there really was a national emergency, the president wouldn't worry about some damn federal requirements.  He would just go tamiflu on yo ass.  HAHA WHAT A FUNNY PHARMACEUTICAL REFERENCE! (Tamiflu is the medicine you take when you have the flu, in case you are not a pharmacist and still want to fit in with the rest of the people that enjoyed that reference)

"The H1N1 virus has killed more than 1,000 Americans and hospitalized over 20,000. "

Oh? Really? It has? OMG LETS ALL PANIC.  Actually, we should Phanic...(read my story in torch :)

Seriously people, 1,000 people is not very much. A few sentences later the article says:

" The seasonal flu typically hospitalizes 200,000 and kills 36,000 nationwide each year."

You hear that? 36,000 people die every year from the flu.  How many have died this year? 1,000.  Well, we should call this a national time of happiness, not emergency.  This point is invalid, because flu season hasn't really started yet, and most deaths occur later in winter...

---

So why is Obama so scared about this "flu"?  Well, most people think it is because of the vaccines.  As one analyst said, "it (the vaccine) is grown in eggs, “even if you yell at them, they don’t grow faster.”" I think we need to develop a... 


(sorry I ran off to sounds of my family yelling in the living room, watching the Iowa-Michigan state game.  Apparently our team is getting way to lucky, and needs to stop winning these close games...people might actually think we are halfway decent.)

You know your country is screwed if you have to grow vaccines in eggs.  Fertilized eggs, nonetheless. They say "it grew more slowly than expected."  What? That is so weird?  Why would they be growing so slowly? 

Oh, I know, maybe its because your growing them in EGGS. As in edible eggs that come out of chickens.  Were they really expecting the eggs to grow fast? "Hey, come on little egg, millions of people are relying on you for their life, please grow faster!"  Grow up America, use fetuses.

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All the vaccines that did manage to grow in the eggs are highly sought after.  Clinics throughout the U.S. are running out, and people are desperate to protect themselves from the flu.  Hell, people would probably cash in their 401k for a swine flu vaccine.  It seems that if we give an animal name to the seasonal flu, it becomes a national emergency.  To stimulate the health care industry next year, how about we call it the "Possum Flu."  Maybe even the "Snake Flu."  How about the "Dog Flu." Yea, I like "dog flu".  That'll make me rich.

Back to an earlier point: rarity of swine flu vaccines.  Some people are so desperate for the vaccine, that they have been lying!  OMGSH! Lying! No way, that is morally wrong!  Listen to this:

 “I lied and told the doctors I was pregnant,” said Theresa Caffey of Centreville.

And guess what happened:

Vaccinated!

I left out the fact that she has multiple sclerosis and is nursing an 11 week old baby...

If something makes a lady pretend to be pregnant, you know it's serious.  What does Obama do in response? He issues a state of "National Emergency."  Oh, phew, national emergency will make it better...  WRONG.  

"Nor, they said, does it (Obama's declaration) have anything to do with the reports of vaccine shortages."

Good job.  You manage to address everything but the real problem: vaccine shortages.  Instead of wasting time getting around federal requirements, you could be improving the situation.  Maybe you could:

-Subsidize vaccines

-Increase funding for swine flu stuff

-Find a better way to grow the stuff (eggs don't seem very efficient).

-DONT MAKE US PANIC...MAKE US PHANIC!

Okay people, I am suffering from "severe tiredness," which is a symptom of swine flu.  You want to know what else causes tiredness?  Lack of sleep.  Lack of energy.  School.  Life.  Nearly everything else.

Livin the good life,

Mikey J

Above Image from NY times @ articleInline.jpg. 


Above the above image from http://www.sptc.net/attention.jpg.

The Number THREE Way to Improve Your Life

Everyday I hear the same sentence at least once.  Most people have said it before, and Frankly, I am sick of hearing it.  The sentence is...."I'm tired."  It seems like we are always tired.

I think a good way to improve your life is to get enough sleep.  Most people I ask generally get to bed around midnight.  If they have a zero hour, this limits sleep to about six hours a night.  It is recommended that teens get over 9 hours of sleep every night.  I realize this is impossible for some people, but more sleep can improve lives.

Some benefits to getting more sleep:

-You look better in the morning.

-You feel more awake in the morning.

-Because you feel more awake, you are more sociable and alert.  This allows you to do better on tests and make new friends.  Everyone likes to make new friends.

-You can spend more time doing the best thing in the world: sleeping.

-Sleeping is fun and easy, so why wouldn't you want to do more of it?

-You have more time to dream.  You can't achieve your dreams if they never take place.

How to Spend Your Money

I recently discovered that most teenagers are having trouble finding ways to spend their money.  Teens these days have too much money, and simply cannot spend it all.  Be it lack of time, or simply lack of ideas, our society is turning into a pig pen of naughty frustrations.  

I have donated some of my time to help out the world with their financial non-spendencies.  Listed below are some great ways to spend your money.

1) Go to Wendy's everyday for lunch.  Order a classic triple, double stack, and large frosty.  Pay with a 20 dollar bill.  Take the change, and place it in the garbage can.  Once you receive your food, go outside and place it on the roof of the nearest minivan.  Do this everyday.

2) Go to the front foyer of school, and pull out a hundred dollar bill.  Raise it up in the air, and shout "free! free!"  Give it to the first person that asks for it.  

3) Find a computer, and go to ebay.com.  Bid 1,000 dollars on a energy pokemon card.  When the card comes in the mail, bring it to Wendy's and throw it in the garbage can.

4) Go to a restaurant, order a side salad, and eat it.  When you are finished with the side salad, leave the wait (er/ress) a large tip, preferably over $100.  After the tip has been placed on the table, go to all the other tables in the restaurant, and place a $100 bill on each of those.  Do not worry if other patrons give you funny looks.

5) Go to your bank, speak with the teller, and make a large withdrawal.  For this step to have the biggest effect, withdraw everything in your account.  Take all the money you received, and place it in your wallet.  Next, drive to Wendy's.  Order a jr. bacon cheeseburger, but do not give the cashier any money.  He may be annoyed with you.  Do not worry.  Simply place your wallet in the garbage can, and walk out the door.  

By this time, your bank account should be empty, and your wallet should be in the garbage.  If you followed the steps correctly, you should have spent your money successfully. 

P.S. If you ever see money on the floor do NOT pick it up.  We do not want all of our efforts to go to waste!

Above money pic from http://uk2.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/mooooney.jpg

Need blog ideas?  Check this out.

Confessions of A Swineist

According to my mother, I have caught the flu. The swine flu to be exact. I thought it would never happen to me, it couldn't happen to me.  Swine flu was just something you saw in movies, not something you actually had.  Well, I have it.  That is why I am at home. That is also why I am blogging during the school day.  Anyway, some confessions are listed below.

-I honestly haven't felt this bad since God knows when.  Ask God the last time I felt this bad, he can tell you.

-Swine flu makes it sound dirty, please call it H1N1 (hydrogen monitrogen).

-The doctors office is very busy with all the people catching the flu, they probably aren't too happy about that.  It makes you wonder why doctors never seem to get sick.  They see tons of sick people each day, why are they not sick themselves?

-The worst part about this flu is the dizziness.  Whenever I try to stand up, I almost pass out and have to sit back down again.  And the back of my head feels really weird, like a scary clown yo-yo movie.

-I realized that missing school isn't nearly as fun as it used to be.  Yes, you can eat whatever you want, have your parents wait on you, and do whatever you like, it just doesn't seem the same anymore...

-I think teachers need to recognize how troublesome an illness can be for a student.  When you are sick, there is almost no way you can do homework.  You generally want to sleep, not work.  I thought I would be able to catch up on some homework today, but found myself in bed more than expected.

-It is hard to keep my thoughts focused...

The number TWO way to improve your life

Be happy.

If you can be happy about anything, than your life can be good no matter what happens.  Lets take a few examples.

Let's say your Ipod dies while you are driving to school.  What do you do?

A) Nothing, you don't notice because you are talking on the cell phone.

B) Get pissed, throw your ipod out the window, and then pull over to pick it up.

C) Get pissed, throw your ipod out the window, see another driver laugh at you, get pissed at him, crash into him on purpose, and die..

D) Turn on the radio.

-If you chose option A, you should go back to driver's ed.  They teach you how to not use cell phones while driving.  It's actually pretty easy.

-If you chose option B, it is likely that your ipod isn't in the best shape (assuming you don't have the iprotect).  And you probably were a little bit late to school.

-If you chose option C, you probably aren't reading this right now, because you are dead. Unless of course they have the internet in heaven.

-If you chose option D, you probably are in decent shape, because your iPod is doing fine, and you are still alive.

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Forgive the pathetic-ness of that example...  Anyway, I am trying to prove a point here.  You can't always control what happens to you, but you can control your reaction.  You can't always control bears, but you can control your reaction.  Lets say you get mauled by a bear in Michigan.  You can decide to be sad, missing your limbs, or you can be happy.  You can be happy that you have a story to tell, or that you have had an intimate moment with another species.

Oh God...I just Googled "Bear attack" on google and looked at the pictures...

DO NOT LOOK! It is pure nastiness.  However, considering that I am trying to be happy, I will keep a positive outlook.  I have never been attacked by a bear.  That makes me happy.

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Next time you are presented with a bad situation, be happy.  Thinking about things in a certain way can make it better.  It's up to you...

Have you ever had one of those blogs that is just a big disappointment? Sometimes you want to blog, but just aren't feeling it.  That is happening right now.  This will earn the tag of  "useless."  How sad...

I hope next time is better.

The number ONE way to improve your life

Support the ONE campaign.

Bono ONE campaign pic. from http://www.ournewearth.tv/admin/upload/video/ONE.jpg

If you support this campaign, you are helping the world.  What is possibly better than helping the world? Can you really find something better than helping the world?  Maybe, maybe not.

Another thing that might improve your life is getting more sleep. (see above)

The Cleanest Place in the World

Mikey J: You know what I just realized?

Audience: "What?!"

There needs to be a negative tab button.  A back tab, if you will.

Audience: "OOOOO YESSS A BACKTAB!"

Mikey J: Ok audience, settle down.  We don't need to initiate another Prague Spring here.

Drummer : Ba dup, pish!

Mikey J: I mean seriously people, how many times have you entered your username, and then wanted to go enter your password, but you accidentally press tab twice.

Audience: "I HATE THAT WHEN THAT HAPPUNS!"

Mikey J:  Exactly.  You have to press tab 25 more times to cycle through all the links before returning to the "Password" text box.  And then you accidentally press tab once again in your anger.  It is shame.

Audience: "WELL, HOW ABOUT YOU JUST USE THE MOUSE TO CLICK ON THE TEXT BOX?!?

The sound of a machine gun fills the stadium...Silence

Mikey J:  As I was saying, a tab button without a back tab button is about as useful as a time machine that won't take you back in time.

Drummer: Ba dup, pish!

Mikey J: We'll be right back folks, don't go away!

Commercial:


Little kids: "Hey Grandma!  You look really cold!" 


Grandma: "Oh dear, who is that?"


Little kids: "Its us Grandma!  Your grandkids!"


Grandma: "Damn kids!  Where did you put my Snuggie?"


Little kids: "Haha Grandma, its over there! In the fire!"


Grandma: "Good, that's where it belongs."


This message brought to you by the Gluggy:* the first Snuggie made out of garbage!


Announcer: "And we're back, with Mikey J in the Morning!

Mikey J: Have any of you ever been to Wal-mart? Well, I was just there today, and had one of the best experiences of my life. I first drove into the parking lot, and took a left to find a good parking spot.

As I was driving down an aisle, I saw another car going way to fast, with no respect for the painted lines.  This car was speeding through the parking lot, driving perpendicular to the aisles.  I realized that we were going to crash.  So I slowed down.  In fact, I almost came to a complete stop.  As the car drove by, I saw who the driver was.  Expecting an ignorant teenager, I was shocked to see an old Grandma behind the wheel.

Geez, we spend enough money on the DOT, you think they could at least keep dangerous drivers off the roads...

So anyway, I parked, almost got ran over on the way in, and then found myself at the entrance. The first thing I saw was a hair stylist smoking out by the door.  She looked really sad.  I wanted to give her a large tip, but then I realized she never cut my hair.

Drummer: Ba-dup Pish!

Mikey J:  When I entered Wal-mart, I was greeted warmly by Luann, who asked if I wanted a sticker.  I took one.

In the entrance isle, I saw a middle aged man pulling around an elderly woman in a wheelchair (I guess he was pushing her).  As I walked past, I saw the middle aged man pull out a Snuggie box, and try to sell it to the Grandma (I am just assuming she has grandkids, I wasn't really sure).

He took the Snuggie Box off the shelf, and said "Do you want this? It is like a blanket but has holes for your arms."

The Grandma replied accordingly in a fragile voice "Oh no, that doesn't sound necessary."

As he wheeled the Grandma away from the Snuggie (entrance) isle, I saw him put the Snuggie box in the wheelchair basket...Snuggie Creep.

Making it past the Snuggies, I went to the clothing isle, and I saw they were having a clearance.  How Odd.  Walmart having a clearance? I have never seen that happen before...

I just had to pick up these 5 dollar shorts, couldn't resist.  And then candy corn, and then gum, and then mints. I will be fresh.

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Above picture (Without edits) from http://www.jpgmag.com/photos/296250 "Parking lot birds eye view"

Better Blogging: Quality Control

The Blogger International just released a graph of blog quality, and I copied it into this post.  It shows some very interesting correlations; let me know what you think.

The pink line represents the quality of blog posts over time.  As you can see, they start out relatively low; at 7/10. At this point, the blogger doesn't know how to work the shotgun.  As the blogger gets more experience and reads more episodes of Better Blogging, he/she writes better posts. The blogger learns how to load and fire. At the third or fourth week of blogging, the quality reaches a climax, and some of the most outstanding blogs are produced.

During this peak time, the blogger has plenty of ideas to write about, and therefore has plenty of ammo in his shotgun.  Once the blogger runs out of ammo (ideas), he/she finds herself scraping for topics.  The blogger probably will start to make up topics that don't relate to the overall theme of the blog. Hell, they might even write about how they are running out ideas, or about how other people are running out of ideas.

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You can see after week four how the quality declines, and eventually levels off around a (7/10) rating.  This is quite sad.  There are a few reasons for this depression:

1) Like I said, the blogger is running out of things to talk about.  They simply ramble or make up random junk.

2) The novelty of blogging is wearing off.  They are sick of reading other peoples blogs, and aren't as interested in blogging as they first used to be.

3) They are getting more and more homework during the week, and are forced to do all three blog posts late Sunday night.  They just want to finish up the word count for the grade, rather than for the actual purpose.

4) Their computers deteriorate over time, causing anger and pissed-off-ness to the blogger. This makes blog posts full of anger, decreasing their quality.

5) They are doing it on purpose, to give me something to blog about.

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Possible Solutions:

1) Whenever you come up with a blog idea, write it down.  This can be done by typing it into your phone, writing it on your forehead, or carving it into your 3rd hour desk.

2) Don't procrastinate on blogging.  Nobody wants to write 1,200 words on Sunday night.  God doesn't want you to write 1,200 words on Sunday night either, its the Sabbath.  Spread it out like thawed butter over an English muffin.

3) GET INVOLVED.  Read other people's blogs, possibly responding to them.  I have gotten many topic ideas from reading other peoples blogs, and have also gotten in a few arguments along the way.  And it helps you to meet new people.  You can go up to someone and say "Hey, I read your blog, let's be friends" and generally they will say "Ok, you're weird. But let's still be friends."

4) Blog about fun things. Things that entertain you.  Have a funny post in there every once in a while.

Just live your life 

SAFE!

Fhew.....  I am so relaxed now.  You don't realize how much I missed this blogger editor page.  I just spent the last two days writing my ESSAY!

For the essay, I decided to write it in Microsoft Word, because it is easier to format/print out four copies.  I'm not going to lie, it scared me.  The blank format of a 1200 word essay, scared me out of my bowels.  I am so glad it's over.  Seriously...

There is just something about Microsoft Word that suppresses all literary talent.  I had a great idea for my essay, and was super excited to write about it, thinking it would be easy.  Just a long blog post, right?

WRONG.

Microsoft Word decided to make my life harder.  I started my essay, and everything went wrong.  My opening felt terribly forced, the body ached, and the conclusion was weak.  The content was lackluster, and the syntax just didn't feel right.  Eventually I just gave in and threw up on my paper, and printed off 4 copies (20 pieces of paper).  Thats what editing groups are for, right?

Back to Word.  As a student, we write all our papers, reports, and research projects on Word (or some other equivalent...I'm talking to you, poor Pages user...Oh, and don't even get me started on WordPerfect).  Our brain is accustomed to thinking and worrying when we see the Word screen.  In the blogger screen, we can relax.  This writing isn't published, printed, or revised.  Our blog posts are just online, for everyone in the world to see...

That reminds me, Try Googling your blog name/ URL.  It should pop up.  Doesn't it feel good to have something pop up on Google? Yes.  It sure does.

Back to Word.  I also found myself checking the word count almost every paragraph.  Maybe it's just because I am a journalist, and am always scraping to get down a big word count.  It was distracting nonetheless.  It caused my paper to seem incomplete and unbalanced.

Aww man, I think my writing depression is spreading onto my blog.  Damn Word!

So, I stated the problem, now I will state possible solutions.

1) Don't ever use Word.  EVER!!!!!!  Simply write in a familiar place, such as the blogger editor, email composition, or God forbid; notepad.  Then copy and paste into Word, format, and then print.  Problem solved.

2)Struggle through it.  It will probably be more convenient this way, but much more annoying.

3) Maybe the above isn't a problem.  Maybe the composition environment helps to set a desired tone.  In blogger, I tend to be more conversational and affective.  In Word, I tend to be more formal and distant.  I guess I do read some packets...

4)Right now, I am just rambling.  I really am mad about how my writing experience turned out this week.  I hope it gets better.  At least I have a group to help me through it.

Side note: In two days I have another 4 page paper due. I haven't started. I will probably use Word because it is supposed to be a semi-formal paper.

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Why does it always seem that teachers scheme together? Tests always seem to fall on the same damn Thursday, and papers always seems to be due the same damn week.

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This constitutes the Sunday Night Ramblings, so don't blame me.

Just livin my life. 


The above pic orginiated at http://mygadgets.my/img/Word_Logo.jpg  "Word Logo"  I made a few changes.  I take no ownership.

Better Blogging (minisode): My Mission

Scroll down the side of the page, until you reach a long list of tags. My goal is to make that list look good.  Something like this:

Although this is from wordpress (Panoptiblog) and may be hard to replicate with blogger, any changes I make will be better than this:

Pathetic, I know.  Tell me about it.  Tell your friends about it.  Tell your mother about it.

Anyway to achieve my goal, I plan on only having useful tags.  Some examples of my useless tags would be "first" "sean" "view" "on" "don't," and my favorite, "Useless." I will eliminate those tags and make better tags, such as "Alpaca."

Let me know what you think about it.

This just in! My goal is complete.  Check out the new "tag cloud"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              

Eh, better than before.

NOTE: For those of you complaining about the lack of HTML tutorial in this post: too bad.

A Little Vanilla Dressing

Once upon a time, in a land not too far away, lived a young man. It was approximately 4:30 AM, on a cool, quiet, October night. The young man slept soundly, occasionally shifting, randomly, as if playing Simon Says in bed. A half hour later, the young man was still sleeping, soundly. As he slept, the overhead fan whirled silently. As the clock ticked five, nothing happened. One hour later, however, the festivities began.

At approximately 5:54 AM, the young man's temporal lobe was filled with stimulus, arousing his body to action. By instinct, the young man jumped out of bed, quickly dashed to the other side of the room, and flipped a small green switch, stopping the auditory arousal immediately. It took another thirty seconds for the young man to realize that he had indeed, woke up. It was during these thirty seconds that the young man knew nothing, was nothing. Was nothing but a mere reaction. An instinct. During our precious thirty seconds, the young man's actions required no thought. Repetition and practice was all it took. After these thirty little vanilla seconds, he woke up.

The young man started to realize where he was, what he was. The young man could sense his body was tired, not quite ready for an attack. If a killer entered the room, the young man would be powerless to stop him. The killer would attack from the closet, stabbing the young man in the chest. Upon realization of his wound, the young man would start to fade, into the distance, away from consciousness. Falling to his knees, the young man would decide to yell, in desperate hopes that a cop would be around the corner, in the living room. Alas, this is but a mere speculation. There was no killer in the closet; just a few clothes, a laundry basket, and old containers, filled with rags.

Another thirty seconds passed. The green and purple alarm clocked flashed 5:55 before the young man's eyes. Feeling lost, he stumbled to the lights, flicking two switches simultaneously. One up, one down, two very different effects. Light filled the room, illuminating once forgotten objects (such as the young man's memory). At the same time, not too far away, the air in the room started to settle. The fan slowed, ceasing the steady flow of life. Closing the door, the young man suddenly felt safe. Behind doors, behind darkness; alive.

I Want To Make Myself Believe, That Planet Earth. Turns. Slowly.

So I was stting in AP Lang one day, when someone started blaring "Fireflies" by Owl City.  I was very offended, so I stormed out out of the room.  The person chased me with a portable boombox, and forced me to listen to the song.  He said he would beat me up if I didn't post this on my website.

So, here it is.

I, like every other teenage person, think "Fireflies" is an awesome song.  There is just something about that classic slow toned voice that makes you sing along. 

If you can listen to that song without dancing a little and signing a note or two, let me know, and we can make fun of you.

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Tune in to the next edition of Better Blogging to learn about editing Youtube Video Sizes!

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click me

^"Grazing Alpaca" from wikimedia commons at http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3e/Unshorn_alpaca_grazing.jpg

Why we do what we do, Why he does what he does, and Why she does what she does: Evolutionary Psychology

Sorry about the long title. It's funny how "Short" has more characters than "Long." Maybe it's because when you are describing something long, you need to use a short descriptive word to balance out the length.

Here is an example: (Taken from a teenage girl dialog)

Cindy: Hi Carly! How is your day?!

Carly: Oh, it's not to bad, hbu          


Cindy: Omg, that's awesome!  My day is also going good, lmao!.    

Carly: Lawlz, girl you are hilarious! We MUST hang sooooon!

Cindy: oh em gee! Haha girl it is a MUST.  So remember that time with the cake, and then Tom called, and decided to come over, but he didn't even realize the frosting wasn't ready yet! omg lawls he ate the cake without the frostinnnnnn.  omg love, it was halarious. Sorry for saying such a long story!

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Example two, taken from a teenage male dialog


Nick: Hey Dude, Sarah is so hot, I can't believe it.

Mohammad: Oh I know, its insane. You should ask her out.

Nick: Haha yea she diggs me.  Aight sorry bout the short talk, but I gotta work out for 7 hours before bed.

Mohammad: Later

Nick: Later

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Those two examples clearly illustrate the reasonings behind the word length for "short" and "long."  In the female conversation, the word "long" only adds 4 letters to the story, making it much shorter.  In the male conversation, however, the word "short" adds a much needed 5 letters to the conversation, adding length and depth.

Some of you are thinking "What in the world? This has no meaning."

Just be patient you fool, I'm getting there.

The adjectives "short" and "long" were used by different genders because of deep psychological roots.  We can now analyze the female and male conversations, understanding behavior.

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Our behavior, at least part of it, comes from our ancestors (known as our genes).  As time goes on, our ancestors have evolved (changed their genes/behavior) to increase their chances of survival.  This is called the survival of the fittest; see Darwin.

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Now to the fun stuff.  Males like to have sex.  A lot.  With lots of people.  Lots of females, to be exact.  Have you ever wondered why this is so? Why do guys sexually harass girls more than girls harass guys?  The answer is in our sperm count.  Guys make lots of sperm (half a baby). The sperm want to find another 1/2 baby (egg) and penetrate. Girls only have one egg at a time, and therefore want to be more selective (to increase chances of survival for this one egg, as opposed to millions of sperm). Guys just want to spread their sperm everywhere, because they have so much.  This causes our behavior.

Our genes/evolution has implemented things that makes us want to have babies and increase human population.


The following is from a prehistoric standpoint.


Females generally have one baby at a time, which means they want to protect it.  Females also get pregnant, which means they can't move around very much.  Because prehistoric females can't move around, they want to make their "home" the best it can be.  That includes making friends with the other females, so they can watch each other's kids and trade food for survival.  This is evident in the discussion; females talking a lot, bonding, and making plans to become closer together.

Males, on the other hand, don't get pregnant (for the most part).  They can move around all the time, spreading their genetic code everywhere.  This means that they aren't tied to a particular location.  They don't have to stay at home because they have a baby in their belly.  This means that they are more independent, and don't feel as strong of a natural desire to have a huge support group.  In our male conversation, they talk about females, and then say goodbye.  There isn't too much bonding, just the facts.

You made it this far? Good job.  Here is your reward:

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Street Smarts vs. Book Smarts

I have been meaning to get to this topic.

Street Smarts vs. Book Smarts.

First of all, we need to compare the pros and cons of each one:

Street Smarts:

Pros: It is very popular, easy, based at school, you get a free t-shirt, flexible scheduling.

Cons: Very expensive, bad class times, forced driving.

Book Smarts:

Pros: Doesn't really exist, so you don't have to do anything, no time commitment

Cons: Doesn't really exist, so it doesn't count for drivers education. No free t-shirt.

Ha ha ha.  That was hilarious. I could probably run my own blog.

BTW Look for a new and improved Street Smarts ad in the upcoming edition or Torch! Coming out October 23!

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For more information on how to make this ^ line, tune in to the next edition of Better Blogging.

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Back to the subject.  I hate strongly dislike it when people say "O yea, well he may be book smart, but isn't street smart."

This actually makes me laugh.

Street smart? As in, "I can go live on the streets and survive?" Oh man, you're right!  I can't live on the street! Dude, You are so better than me!  I am in trouble, I don't know where the best dumpsters are, I don't know where the most comfortable benches are.  I don't know what overpasses the security guards forget to check at night!  Dang, I guess I'm screwed for life.

Maybe that person was talking about gangsta stuff.  Like drugs.  "Oh man! You're right! I can't tell speedy black tar grapple hair bull crack from electric lime fruitzen crunch muffin block jungle jim tack dog! Oh Lord, save me!  How will I ever be successful in the future if I can't tell those simple drugs apart?!  Someone should come and shoot me right now!

Or maybe, just maybe, because it's Tuesday, or because your mom's name is Gertrude, that person is talking about practical applications of learned concepts. Well...hmmm... obviously that person is book smart.

                                                                       The end.

Do not read what this used to be

!!!!

I was using this blog post editor to write down my thoughts for an essay topic (it was the closest text box around when the thoughts hit me) and somehow it published. I swore I hit "save now."  It must have interpreted that as "Publish now."

Do not take my topic.

Copyright.

Better Blogging: Strike Through and Link Anti-Annoyance

BIG NOTE:So I realize that the "Updated" post editor has a little button, right next to the italics button.  That makes this post 1/2 obsolete.  You can still read it if you want to learn more about editing your blog.  To switch to the updated editor, go to your settings and go to the bottom.  Fill the appropriate circle.

Being the programmer that I am, I thought I should share some basic knowledge on how to make your blog a bit better.

All Some websites (for the most part) are made out of HTML. HTML is a computer language, a code that makes stuff go on the screen.

Carbon is to humans as HTML is to websites.

I remember someone telling us that we can do strike through text in case we mess up. I have searched the blogger composition screen for an easy way to do this, but I had no such luck. If you want to use the line through text thingy, you have to edit the HTML of the post. In the top right corner of the composition screen, there should be two tabs. One says "Edit HTML" and the other says "Compose." Most people probably stay under "compose" the whole time. That is good. However, if you want to be an expert, you need to venture off into the other tabs.

If you do man up and click on the "Edit HTML" tab, you might be in for a surprise. You will probably see a whole bunch of <><><><><> and div div div div. Those are just used for formatting, I think. Anyway they don't need to be messed with. When you see a <> with text inside it, that means it is a TAG. HTML tags tell computers what to do.

To make the strike through, you need to create two HTML tags. One tag should be before the text you want crossed out, and one tag should be after the text you want crossed out. The first tag is quite simple; just a <> with the word "strike" inside. The second tag, after the desired crossed out words, should be a <> with "/strike" inside (Won't let me show you, or those sentences would be crossed out).

Maybe this picture will help:

Now remember, this is all under the "Edit HTML" tab, so you will have to make sure not to mess up anything else in this section. Just add the strike tags around the text you want crossed out.

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One thing that is a little bit annoying is when you are reading a blog post, and the author links to a related website. You click on the link, and it takes you away from the blog, and into an unknown place. You feel frightened. Scared. You try to find the blog, but it shows up nowhere on the screen. You are forced to retreat by pressing the back button, too pitiable.

There is an easy way to make your link open up a new window, so the reader can stay on your blog. To do this, you do not need to make a new tag, but rather add to an existing tag. We all know how to add links, so I will not go into that. When you make a link, a tag is added in the "Edit HTML" tab. Click the tab, and the link should be formatted something like this(both inside <>).

First tag, before link text:

a href="URL HERE"

Second tag, after link text:

/a

In the first tag, you will need to add this: target="_blank"

Add that directly after the ..."URL HERE", but before the >.

This tells the website to make a link that when clicks, opens up a new window.

Here is an example of what we have learned so far.

This text has a line through it!!!

OMG THIS LINK IS AWESOME!!!

On the HTML tab, it should look like this:

(Sorry about the text size, just use a magnifying glass)

Just do what you can

NOTE: Some Griddle kid reminded me that websites use other code, such as Java, ect... Thats true, but for my purposes, you need to know how to edit the html, not anything else.

Random Wikipedia Entry, The Sequel

Okay so a few weeks ago I attempted a random article analysis. It turned out poorly, to say the least, given my lack of chemical knowledge. Today, however, I feel like a have a much greater grasp on the topic. Today's random article is.....

(drum roll, please)

Francis D. Williams House!!!!!!!!!!!

I am really excited to do this analysis, because the actual article itself has less than 50 words. Just recently I was joking with a friend about writing from a resource. We discussed the possibility of writing about a really short article. One line went something like "Haha, then you would have to write more about the resource than the resource itself!"

Well, friend, I am in that position now. This is what the article says:

"Francis D. Williams House is a historic house at 3 Plain Street in Taunton, Massachusetts.

The house was built in 1830 and added to the National Historic Register in 1984."

Yep, thats it. Just a few words, not much of any importance. Not really worth reading anyway.

WRONG

This article has hidden connotations that lead to an introspection of delicate imagery, gregarious social perspective, and a cornucopia of social-political comparisons. To completely analyze this piece of art, we need to look at both the fundamentals of the writing, as well as the delicate intricacies of the actual meaning. The entire article has very few words, forcing the author to pick and choose his diction. The first sentence has a mere 14 words, showing a moderate sentence length. The second sentence, however, contains a whopping 15 words, also showing moderate sentence length.

A big difference between the sentences is the amount of numbers used. The first sentence only uses one number, "3." How odd. The second sentence, in contrast, is a big numberer. It contains 8 numbers, "1830" and "1984." This number difference can help to explain the content and meaning of each sentence. The second sentence is trying to give more factual information, by giving the date built and date added to the National Historic Register.

The first sentence has an even mixture of concrete and abstract language. "Historic" is an abstract word, it can be used to describe any number of things. It can be used to describe your friend's mother, your friend's teacher, or your friend's house. In this case, it describes your friend's house, assuming your friend is named Francis D. Williams. The concrete aspect of this sentence is the address, "3 Plain Street, Taunton, Massachusetts."

As a reader, we can only guess as to the state of the neighborhood surrounding Plain Street, but we can make educated inferences for our own betterment. We know the neighborhood is in Massachusetts. This indicates that the neighborhood has a colonial background. Lexington and Concord are in Massachusetts, so it makes sense that "Plain Street" has something to do with the American Revolution. I think General Plain was actually commander of the continental army during the Revolution, and he probably built a house on this street. He renamed the street to match his last name, despite the protests of the street's current inhabitants. Eventually Gen. Plain and his army subdued the residents, and they succeeded in changing the name from "Bland Bvld" to "Plain Street."

Now we will get down to the nitty gritty of the house itself, once owned by the famous Francis D. Williams. The coordinates of the house are 41.53.7N and 71.5.21W. What does this mean? It means that the house is in the NW corner of the United States. If you were to add up the coordinates, you get 101 and 97. Those are the average temperatures for Taunton, MA during the summer and winter, respectively.

Now this concludes our discussion of Francis D. Williams House. I encourage you to take a trip to this national historic site, and enjoy all the culture it has to offer.

Fisher Price Go Baby Go!™ Crawl-Along Drum Roll™ from Ideas and Reviews

Sweet Cool Tights.

I was leaving a comment to Pterygotus's post about the word "Beast." I was halfway through responding, when I realized I had written enough words to turn this into a post.

Therefore, this is the first ever Compost, a comment turned blog post. Enjoy!

You should go read Pterygotus's post before reading this:

I RECKON THAT IF I HAVE A LONGER "LINK" MORE PEOPLE WILL CLICK ON IT. DON'T WORRY ABOUT NAVIGATING AWAY FROM THIS PAGE, THE HTML HAS BEEN EDITED TO ENSURE YOU STAY HERE, WHERE YOU BELONG.



How can I resist such a dare? Do you realize what you are asking for?

A few starters:

-I only see one piece of evidence here. It seems as if the basis for your argument is one book. One incident in one book.

-I'm not quite sure what you are trying to prove with this. Should we stop using "beast" in the "slang" way? Do we just need to recognize a difference? There is a difference between slang and colloquial, but that seems a bit shallow for this.

-I am not fluent in German, but by Beelzebub, you must be refering to the "Chief of Devils." Are you inferring that when we say "beast" we mean "devil"? I don't think that is the case.

-We generally call someone a "beast" after they have completed a valiant task. Such as dominating a football game (such as a real beast would dominate a forest). Or after they get that hot girl to go out with them. We don't, however, call people "beasts" when they perform evil deeds. We call those people creepy.

-Slang is a whole other topic. Slang words have a much different meaning than that in the dictionary. "Tight" does not mean "Stretched or drawn out fully." It means "sweet" (which actually doesn't mean "Containing or derived from sugar"), "awesome," "cool," (which doesn't mean "Containing or derived from sugar"). Anyway I think you get my point...

-Slang words change over time. Lord of the Flies was written in 1954, over 50 years ago. "Beast" back then had a much different meaning than it does today. 50 years from now, people will probably not use "beast" as a compliment. They will probably use it to indicate a dangerous chemical found in Asian foods. Who knew you could combine beryllium, arsenic, and tellurium in one food?!?! (Assuming Asians adopt a French Italian dialect within the next 50 years).

-One of the reasons for the popularity of "beast" is the enunciation. It is one of those rare words that can either be one or two syllables, giving it a wide variety of uses. You can quickly say "beast!" under your breath during a test to indicate either your competency, or moan out a "beeeeaastttt" quietly to indicate your lack of preparation. Plus it exemplifies the masculine voice of many teenage males, making it a popular word. It allows us to feel "cool" by pronouncing "beast" with a low voice that helps us to fit in.

-But really, there is no need for me to argue with you. I don't need, nor neccesarily want, to change your opinion. It is a personal choice. Some teenagers will use "beast" daily, while others will use it just during sporting events, and yet a few others will use it only on the rare occasion that they see a leopard in their bedroom. It's up to you how you want to use it, but don't expect everyone else to think the same way you do.

You did dare me...