Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Peculiar Products: Hell's Bells

I was going to write a blog post about how people are changing their blog.  To start off my post, I was going to put an "Attention Getter" picture near the beginning, to get your attention. 


So, being the resourceful blogger that I am, I went to Google.  I searched for "attention getter," and browsed the pictures.  There were some general attention getters; such as large guns, people holding megaphones, bikini-clad women using leaf blowers, sexist jokes, and...






I thought to myself, "This is probably the best attention in the world."

A No Yell Bell®?!?! Imagine the possibilities!!!

Imagine...A bell you can use, without yelling!

Whenever I use bells, I yell.  They just don't work if I don't yell.

The No Yell Bell® solves all of my problems.




Listen to what our customers said about the No Yell Bell®:

"Whenever I have extra batteries laying around the house, I get really annoyed.  I honestly can't stand to have fresh batteries in the house. My traditional bell just wasn't doing the job for me.  It didn't take batteries, and that really annoyed me.  After putting up with my traditional bell for a few years, I had to switch.   After hearing about the No Yell Bell®, I was a little suspicious at first.  After trying it out, I was amazed! It took battery after battery, completely solving my problem. I found my self ringing the No Yell Bell® without need, just to use batteries! Thank you No Yell®!"

-Jim Winston, stay at home dad.

"Being a teacher, it was always a trouble to get the class to pay attention.  I would yell, scream, and shout, but nothing seemed to work. I searched Google for "attention getter," and stumbled upon the amazing No Yell Bell®.  I tried it out in class one day, and it worked like a charm!  Whenever I used the bell, the kids would stop talking, and start laughing!  They now pay attention to me whenever I ring the bell! Thank you, No Yell®!"

Samantha Talitic, teacher.




I don't know about you, but next time I want to earn the respect of an audience, I'm going to bring a battery powered bell.

That way, when I'm done talking, I can use the "cheering crowd" feature of the bell to make my own applause.  Because I sure as hell won't be getting any.

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I offered to give him speech lessons. He didn't respond.
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A hot dog is God's Toe.
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Best pickup line ever:

"I accidentally ordered an extra entree, can you come and eat if for me?"
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Statistically, I will live forever. I have been living for over 5,000 days. During each of those days, I have lived the whole time. Probability says I am immortal.

(Probability also said Michigan would beat Appalachian State)
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You know we're doomed if we idol a guy named "Young Jeezy." Funniest name ever.
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"You know what they say about assuming?"
"What?"
"Sometimes you're right... sometimes you're wrong"
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Dumb: "Quit being such a smart ass!"

Smart: "I'd rather be a smart ass than a dumb ass."

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-"Well, the short answer is no. But the long answer would be yes, it has one more letter."
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-After drinking all that diet soda, I felt Splendid
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-Drive up ATM's have braille for a good reason: Limit production cost (drive-up same as walk-up, so only one factory setting is needed) Plus, where else is the blind taxi driver going to get his money late at night?
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Only in America:

-Can you walk the streets without getting shot
-Will the police respond to your call without corrupt agendas
-Will you be allowed to elect your leaders
-You don't have to put barbed wire around your yard
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The background for my header (the picture with the Acai tree) is from http://www.thewallpapers.org/photo/22996/2-Single_Acacia_Tree_at_Sunrise_Masai_Mara_Kenya.jpg