Audience: "What?!"
There needs to be a negative tab button. A back tab, if you will.
Audience: "OOOOO YESSS A BACKTAB!"
Mikey J: Ok audience, settle down. We don't need to initiate another Prague Spring here.
Drummer : Ba dup, pish!
Mikey J: I mean seriously people, how many times have you entered your username, and then wanted to go enter your password, but you accidentally press tab twice.
Audience: "I HATE THAT WHEN THAT HAPPUNS!"
Mikey J: Exactly. You have to press tab 25 more times to cycle through all the links before returning to the "Password" text box. And then you accidentally press tab once again in your anger. It is shame.
Audience: "WELL, HOW ABOUT YOU JUST USE THE MOUSE TO CLICK ON THE TEXT BOX?!?
The sound of a machine gun fills the stadium...Silence
Mikey J: As I was saying, a tab button without a back tab button is about as useful as a time machine that won't take you back in time.
Drummer: Ba dup, pish!
Mikey J: We'll be right back folks, don't go away!
Commercial:
Little kids: "Hey Grandma! You look really cold!"
Grandma: "Oh dear, who is that?"
Little kids: "Its us Grandma! Your grandkids!"
Grandma: "Damn kids! Where did you put my Snuggie?"
Little kids: "Haha Grandma, its over there! In the fire!"
Grandma: "Good, that's where it belongs."
This message brought to you by the Gluggy:* the first Snuggie made out of garbage!
Announcer: "And we're back, with Mikey J in the Morning!
Mikey J: Have any of you ever been to Wal-mart? Well, I was just there today, and had one of the best experiences of my life. I first drove into the parking lot, and took a left to find a good parking spot.
As I was driving down an aisle, I saw another car going way to fast, with no respect for the painted lines. This car was speeding through the parking lot, driving perpendicular to the aisles. I realized that we were going to crash. So I slowed down. In fact, I almost came to a complete stop. As the car drove by, I saw who the driver was. Expecting an ignorant teenager, I was shocked to see an old Grandma behind the wheel.
Geez, we spend enough money on the DOT, you think they could at least keep dangerous drivers off the roads...
So anyway, I parked, almost got ran over on the way in, and then found myself at the entrance. The first thing I saw was a hair stylist smoking out by the door. She looked really sad. I wanted to give her a large tip, but then I realized she never cut my hair.
Drummer: Ba-dup Pish!
Mikey J: When I entered Wal-mart, I was greeted warmly by Luann, who asked if I wanted a sticker. I took one.
In the entrance isle, I saw a middle aged man pulling around an elderly woman in a wheelchair (I guess he was pushing her). As I walked past, I saw the middle aged man pull out a Snuggie box, and try to sell it to the Grandma (I am just assuming she has grandkids, I wasn't really sure).
He took the Snuggie Box off the shelf, and said "Do you want this? It is like a blanket but has holes for your arms."
The Grandma replied accordingly in a fragile voice "Oh no, that doesn't sound necessary."
As he wheeled the Grandma away from the Snuggie (entrance) isle, I saw him put the Snuggie box in the wheelchair basket...Snuggie Creep.
Making it past the Snuggies, I went to the clothing isle, and I saw they were having a clearance. How Odd. Walmart having a clearance? I have never seen that happen before...
I just had to pick up these 5 dollar shorts, couldn't resist. And then candy corn, and then gum, and then mints. I will be fresh.
Above picture (Without edits) from http://www.jpgmag.com/photos/296250 "Parking lot birds eye view"
I would just like to point out that your "only in America" statements should be asterisked with "not Chicago"
ReplyDeleteyou have a strange snuggie, but i liked how you didn't sound like you thought you were better then everyone else in this one
ReplyDeletenice mcgriddle... and mikey j, why don't you just click on the password box instead of tabbing through them all. And why did you press tab twice in the first place?
ReplyDelete