Friday, October 23, 2009

How to Spend Your Money

I recently discovered that most teenagers are having trouble finding ways to spend their money.  Teens these days have too much money, and simply cannot spend it all.  Be it lack of time, or simply lack of ideas, our society is turning into a pig pen of naughty frustrations.  

I have donated some of my time to help out the world with their financial non-spendencies.  Listed below are some great ways to spend your money.




1) Go to Wendy's everyday for lunch.  Order a classic triple, double stack, and large frosty.  Pay with a 20 dollar bill.  Take the change, and place it in the garbage can.  Once you receive your food, go outside and place it on the roof of the nearest minivan.  Do this everyday.

2) Go to the front foyer of school, and pull out a hundred dollar bill.  Raise it up in the air, and shout "free! free!"  Give it to the first person that asks for it.  

3) Find a computer, and go to ebay.com.  Bid 1,000 dollars on a energy pokemon card.  When the card comes in the mail, bring it to Wendy's and throw it in the garbage can.

4) Go to a restaurant, order a side salad, and eat it.  When you are finished with the side salad, leave the wait (er/ress) a large tip, preferably over $100.  After the tip has been placed on the table, go to all the other tables in the restaurant, and place a $100 bill on each of those.  Do not worry if other patrons give you funny looks.

5) Go to your bank, speak with the teller, and make a large withdrawal.  For this step to have the biggest effect, withdraw everything in your account.  Take all the money you received, and place it in your wallet.  Next, drive to Wendy's.  Order a jr. bacon cheeseburger, but do not give the cashier any money.  He may be annoyed with you.  Do not worry.  Simply place your wallet in the garbage can, and walk out the door.  

By this time, your bank account should be empty, and your wallet should be in the garbage.  If you followed the steps correctly, you should have spent your money successfully. 

P.S. If you ever see money on the floor do NOT pick it up.  We do not want all of our efforts to go to waste!





Synthesized by Mikey J at 3:17:00 PM
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You got it?

I offered to give him speech lessons. He didn't respond.
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A hot dog is God's Toe.
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Best pickup line ever:

"I accidentally ordered an extra entree, can you come and eat if for me?"
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Statistically, I will live forever. I have been living for over 5,000 days. During each of those days, I have lived the whole time. Probability says I am immortal.

(Probability also said Michigan would beat Appalachian State)
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You know we're doomed if we idol a guy named "Young Jeezy." Funniest name ever.
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"You know what they say about assuming?"
"What?"
"Sometimes you're right... sometimes you're wrong"
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Dumb: "Quit being such a smart ass!"

Smart: "I'd rather be a smart ass than a dumb ass."

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-"Well, the short answer is no. But the long answer would be yes, it has one more letter."
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-After drinking all that diet soda, I felt Splendid
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-Drive up ATM's have braille for a good reason: Limit production cost (drive-up same as walk-up, so only one factory setting is needed) Plus, where else is the blind taxi driver going to get his money late at night?
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Only in America:

-Can you walk the streets without getting shot
-Will the police respond to your call without corrupt agendas
-Will you be allowed to elect your leaders
-You don't have to put barbed wire around your yard
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The background for my header (the picture with the Acai tree) is from http://www.thewallpapers.org/photo/22996/2-Single_Acacia_Tree_at_Sunrise_Masai_Mara_Kenya.jpg