Why we do what we do, Why he does what he does, and Why she does what she does: Evolutionary Psychology

Sorry about the long title. It's funny how "Short" has more characters than "Long." Maybe it's because when you are describing something long, you need to use a short descriptive word to balance out the length.

Here is an example: (Taken from a teenage girl dialog)

Cindy: Hi Carly! How is your day?!

Carly: Oh, it's not to bad, hbu          


Cindy: Omg, that's awesome!  My day is also going good, lmao!.    

Carly: Lawlz, girl you are hilarious! We MUST hang sooooon!

Cindy: oh em gee! Haha girl it is a MUST.  So remember that time with the cake, and then Tom called, and decided to come over, but he didn't even realize the frosting wasn't ready yet! omg lawls he ate the cake without the frostinnnnnn.  omg love, it was halarious. Sorry for saying such a long story!

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Example two, taken from a teenage male dialog


Nick: Hey Dude, Sarah is so hot, I can't believe it.

Mohammad: Oh I know, its insane. You should ask her out.

Nick: Haha yea she diggs me.  Aight sorry bout the short talk, but I gotta work out for 7 hours before bed.

Mohammad: Later

Nick: Later

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Those two examples clearly illustrate the reasonings behind the word length for "short" and "long."  In the female conversation, the word "long" only adds 4 letters to the story, making it much shorter.  In the male conversation, however, the word "short" adds a much needed 5 letters to the conversation, adding length and depth.

Some of you are thinking "What in the world? This has no meaning."

Just be patient you fool, I'm getting there.

The adjectives "short" and "long" were used by different genders because of deep psychological roots.  We can now analyze the female and male conversations, understanding behavior.

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Our behavior, at least part of it, comes from our ancestors (known as our genes).  As time goes on, our ancestors have evolved (changed their genes/behavior) to increase their chances of survival.  This is called the survival of the fittest; see Darwin.

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Now to the fun stuff.  Males like to have sex.  A lot.  With lots of people.  Lots of females, to be exact.  Have you ever wondered why this is so? Why do guys sexually harass girls more than girls harass guys?  The answer is in our sperm count.  Guys make lots of sperm (half a baby). The sperm want to find another 1/2 baby (egg) and penetrate. Girls only have one egg at a time, and therefore want to be more selective (to increase chances of survival for this one egg, as opposed to millions of sperm). Guys just want to spread their sperm everywhere, because they have so much.  This causes our behavior.

Our genes/evolution has implemented things that makes us want to have babies and increase human population.


The following is from a prehistoric standpoint.


Females generally have one baby at a time, which means they want to protect it.  Females also get pregnant, which means they can't move around very much.  Because prehistoric females can't move around, they want to make their "home" the best it can be.  That includes making friends with the other females, so they can watch each other's kids and trade food for survival.  This is evident in the discussion; females talking a lot, bonding, and making plans to become closer together.

Males, on the other hand, don't get pregnant (for the most part).  They can move around all the time, spreading their genetic code everywhere.  This means that they aren't tied to a particular location.  They don't have to stay at home because they have a baby in their belly.  This means that they are more independent, and don't feel as strong of a natural desire to have a huge support group.  In our male conversation, they talk about females, and then say goodbye.  There isn't too much bonding, just the facts.

You made it this far? Good job.  Here is your reward:

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